so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
