Even water is tasting like jack daniels
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize