At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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