I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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