She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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