Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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