Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize