Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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