Ambien. No doubt about it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
