Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
