I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
