areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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