Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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