she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
