i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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