Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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