i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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