I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
