we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
