He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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