I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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