Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
