Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
