He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
