I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
