If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
