We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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