What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
