glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
