Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
