census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
