i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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