I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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