sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
