let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize