haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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