can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
