Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
420 ftw
i just sent this text using only my big toe
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
