He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
