im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
