my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
