that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize