So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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