I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I've blown a few things in my day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
