I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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