Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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