Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
