To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
