Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
