whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
