i don't like sucking hair
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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