Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
