? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
