if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
