remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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