I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
