If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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