I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
