I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
