Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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