and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So vagazzling was a success
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
