you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
