If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
zippers are such a cool invention
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
