ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
